I read a comment by Thongsuk on the Big Mango site and followed his link. This site is hilarious! Definitely worth a look if you’ve got ten minutes with nothing to do.
I particularly liked the 2008 Man Challenge. Here are some excerpts:
The Dick Masterson Man Challenge is a list of manly challenges you can and should undertake in the new year — if not for the personal growth, then for the Man Points.
Go to a hooker: +2,000 Man Points
I man-challenge you to go to a hooker in 2008. If the idea makes you uncomfortable for no good reason, call Oprah or your mom and talk about your feelings. Then, find an ATM and remember that VD is not as rampant as everyone says it is.
Strippers, hookers, and hot Asian masseuses are all still women. Don’t ever let a woman convince you otherwise. Prostitutes count for getting laid just as much as their bitchier, more expensive counterparts. Hookers have stupid thoughts, stupid notions about everything in the world, and fuck simple things up constantly. If those aren’t the three defining characteristics of a woman, then the women I’ve been dealing with and have heard about must actually be donkeys wearing woman suits around like Buffalo Bill.
Unlike regular women, a prostitute will not go out of her way to embarrass you in front of your friends. This service exists and it’s something you can pay for.
In a manlier time, prostitution was a respectable trade. Not respectable in the way of a politician or a doping super athlete, but respectable in the only way a woman can be respected: while she’s doing what a man told her to.
Consider some of these pearls of wisdom from Dick:
Women on TV act reasonable and interesting for the same reason Snuffleupagus has a cardboard cock. He isn’t fucking real.
Holding your tongue because it upsets women is a slippery slope that ends in your penis getting cut off. Besides, the only real reason women hate being called “whores” is the same reason they hate beer: they’re fucking stupid
Women are all sick and dangerous. Not in the way a man can be dangerous like Son of Sam or Charles Chaplin, but dangerous in a way a fork is when it gets caught in the garbage disposal. Even if you’re smart enough to not reach for it instinctively, you might still cut your tongue on it a week later while eating some tater tots.
Recently a woman was shot six times in the head and none of the bullets penetrated her skull.
What a fucking surprise I said to the television who told me about it. The pen is supposedly mightier than the sword, right? If something as powerful as an idea can’t penetrate the invulnerable layer of a woman’s particle board skull, what makes anyone think a fucking bullet could?
Women are like cockroaches. Their stupid opinions could survive a nuclear holocaust.
You’re a man, you can do whatever you want. But if you do, you’ll have no time for anything else. Women don’t have any self respect. Tell them to shut the fuck up and they’ll talk to you even more. They’ll say something even stupider just to hear it again. It’s like you’re giving a dog a piece of bacon and then holding a plateful over its head.
Women are wealth. They’re tacky, they’re overpriced, and their warranty sucks, but they’re still depreciating assets that can be purchased for a an amount directly proportional to their age and sex appeal.
Read an economics text book. Then, dump your girlfriend.
When I think of a woman, I usually think of something retarded, like a mule or a donkey. Donkeys are stubborn because they have hooves and can’t do anything. Women are opinionated loud-mouths for the same reason. They just don’t have the hooves.
An entire conversation was sparked about the merits of men in this modern world. Apparently several women at the table were under the impression the sexes were “equal”. It was a silly assumption, but these women also thought make-up would make them more attractive when not even a paper bag, a picture of Claudia Schiffer, and a stapler could have done that.
As men we can all understand that the sun rises because it’s actually a star that our planet rotates around, therefore it is guaranteed to rise. We are able to remove ourselves from our personal point of view and understand that the sun isn’t rising at all. It’s actually us who are spinning around the sun. Women don’t even fucking know that.
Every morning when a woman wakes up at the crack of 10:30 she’s thrilled to shit to see that the sun’s in the sky again and her fake orange tan will look just as radiant as it did yesterday. That’s one of the biggest reasons why women shouldn’t vote. They don’t know fucking anything about anything. They know nothing.
From the Frequently Asked Man-Questions page:
3. I am a woman and I…?
You should definitely not be on the site. I’m assuming that the next part of your question is “want” because there’s two things you can be sure of whenever a women is speaking. Her sentence will start with “I” and it will usually be followed immediately by “want”.
Scenario two is that the next two words are “don’t think…” in which case she should just stop right there because that’s about as acurate as a lady-type can get.
Dick Masterson’s site is outrageous and funny. Political Incorrectness taken to an extreme. And he seems to have an amazing ability to generate billions of words about only one subject without actually getting boring.
This one’s going onto my RSS feed!
