Thai language: the Isaan Inquisition

Just for fun, I’ve decided to add a new category to my blog titled “Thai language”.  In here I’ll put some short items designed for the casual visitor to Thailand who’d like to have a few words or phrases in the local language to impress the girls with.

These items will be short, and focused on simple, easy to learn-easy to remember language.

These items are NOT intended to assist people who know the language or live here full time.  They are also NOT intended to teach anyone to speak or read Thai.  If you want to learn the language, buy a book, a CD or take a class. 

I’m simply trying to entertain, and provide some simple vocabulary that people can retain and use on their next trip to Thialand.

When you meet bar girls, there are a number of questions they will ask you, or you may want to ask them.  A friend of mine calls this mutual exchange of information the Isaan Inquisition (Isaan is the region of Thailand that 90% of bar girls were born and raised).

Today’s blog will focus on the questions and answers that make up the Isaan Inquisition.

Note: Wherever you see “kh” at the end of the sentence, it stands for either krap or kaa.  If you’re not sure why, you may want to click here.

Cheu arai kh? = What’s your name?

Cheu Tony kh = My name is Tony

Khun maa jaag pradhet arai kh? = What country do you come from? (maa jaak is come from; pradhet is country, So, literally “You come from country what?”)

Pom maa jaag pradhet Angrit = I come from England

(other countries include: Yipoon = Japan, America = America, Jin = China, Yiorman = Germany, Farangset = France, Switzerland = Switzerland, Canada = Canada, Australia = Australia)

Note: An alternate form of the question is:

Khun maa jaag teenai kh? = Where do you come from (Literally, “You come from where?)

A bar girl may answer this question by telling you that she is from Isaan.  If you want to be more specific, you can ask her what province (jaangwat) she comes from.

Khun maa jaag jaangwat arai kh? = What province do you come from?

Khun taeng-ngaan mai kh? = are you married?

Chai, kh = yes

Mai chai, kh = no

Khun yoo teenai tee Greungtep kh? = Where do you stay in Bangkok?

Pom yoo tee Rohngroem Landmark kh = I stay at the Landmark Hotel.

Pom yoo tee Silom Soi sip kh = I stay at Silom Soi 10

Mee loog mai kh? = Do you have children?

Pom mee loog sahm kohn kh = I have three children (Literally “I have children three people”)

Note: for information on Thai numbers, click here

Khun ayu gee pbee mai kh? = How old are you (Literally, “you age how many years?”)

Pom sahm-sip hok pbee kh = I am 36 years old (pbee is ‘year’)

Loog khun ayu gee kuwap mai kh? = How old is your child/how old are your children?

Loog khun cheu arai kh? = What is your child’s name? What are your children’s names?

Cheu Sandy kh = her name is Sandy

Cheu Jane lae John kh = Their names are Jane and John

Khun taam-ngaan arai kh? = What is your job? (Literally “You work what?”)

Pom pben putjitgaan kh = I am a manager

Note: here’s a list of a few jobs:

Nag-tu-ra-git = businessman

jow-nai = boss; business owner; CEO

Pu-shu-wai = Assistant

Lay-ka = Secretary

Prataan = President (of an organization)

Maw = Doctor

Paya-baan = Nurse

Nag-sug-saa = university student

Mun-shee = accountant

Dtamruat = police officer

Ajarn = teacher

Khun wanyood mai kh = Are you on holiday?

Bai duay mai kh? = Do you want to go (out) together?  (Note: this question, from a bar girl, is asking you if you’d like to take her back to your hotel for sex)

Khun soo-waay mak mak = you are very beautiful

(Note: when you visit Thailand get someone to teach you how to pronounce the word soo-waay; said correctly it means ‘beautiful’ but said incorrectly it is uncomplimentary.  Most westerners, with their natural accents, will say it incorrectly.  If you tell a girl she is soo-waay and all the girls laugh, you can bet you said it incorrectly)

Pom chawb nom lek = I like small breasts

Pom chawb nom yai= I like big breasts

Okay, that’s probably enough to get you through your first Isaan Inquisition if you get a girl fresh off the farm who hasn’t learned English yet.  Have fun!