Classic Dick

I haven’t cleaned my bathroom in 9 months and you could eat off the floor. That’s because I pay women to clean it for me.

Cleaning is something poor people have to do. And one of the reasons women make terrible parents is because they teach their children how to be poor. If women wanted a better life for their kids, they wouldn’t nag their children to clean their rooms, they would nag their children to learn a new skill. They would nag their children to read an accounting book or a free TRW How The Fuck Does My Credit Work? pamphlet. You can’t unlearn how to handle your money. Just like you can’t make more than minimum wage cleaning my bathroom.

Unless you’re Mr Clean.

Mrs. Butterworths was a fat pig who probably hung her face over the sink while her husband was trying to brush his teeth as well. If your woman is hogging your sink, do what I do, spit on the back of her head. She’ll learn. Women hate when you get shit in their hair.

 - Dick Masterson

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