The reason women are so fucked in their heads these days is because they invented The Career Woman. The Career Woman is like that guy in Short Circuit. Not that guy; that robot. He can’t do anything right, it takes two other guys to babysit him all day, and before he learned his lesson he caused about ten million dollars in property damage. Go watch that film with an insurance adjuster. He’ll tell you.
That’s women for you.
Women will always have to cook and clean. Ask any married woman and she’ll tell you the same thing, “I don’t mind cooking and cleaning and doing laundry for my family.” Good. Then shut up and do it because men do mind that kind of brainless shit.
Over the course of a million years, men have evolved into problem solvers par excellence. When out hunting woolly mammoths, men had to invent shit on the fly like flanking and sign language and the Half Nelson. Women didn’t have to evolve any of that shit into their brains. And that’s exactly the stuff we men use every day at work. It’s the extra 30 cents on the dollar women are always complaining about. When women try to match men in the job market, they’re not jumping into the deep end, they’re diving into the Grand Canyon with water wings strapped to their ankles.
Women’s purpose is to tidy up. That’s what you evolve by sitting in a cave for a million years and waiting for food to come home. You evolve the fucking invaluable skill set of tidying and fucking obsessing about tidying.
Men are better than women because we don’t think the grass is greener on the other side. We’re men. We’ve got the greenest grass in the whole fucking universe. We’ve got grass as green as 100 dollar bills.
Dick Masterson
February 19, 2008 at 7:28 pm |
The trouble with DM is that much of his stuff is rant mixed with expeletives (R&E) – I had a look at his site when BBB first recommended him and thought that it was a good concept for a philosophy/website. He has a few key points spread rather thinly around and bulks them up with R&E. Trouble is, he makes himself look like an idiot which in turn diminishes the value of his argument.
You might remember one of BBB’s articles on the superiority of men – it was extrememly well written as well as being R&E free. I think it acgieved a record number of hits and comments.
As an excellent writer yourself WW, have you considered taking up the mantle and becoming the ‘thinking mans Dick Masterston’ ?
An erudite version of DM would probably become the most successful site in the history of the universe – of course you wouldn’t get the red-necks logging in but that could end up being a good thing
February 19, 2008 at 8:24 pm |
Oh, I don’t take anything that Dick Masterson says seriously. The site is one of the world’s biggest and longest running single-topic jokes. The entire point of the site is to show how he can say that men are better than women, no matter what fact or question is put in front of him.
For example, a study shows that a higher number of women wash their hands after peeing than men… a clear case of female superiority. Dick says that men are superior because urine is sterile and penises are clean. Furthermore, women’s vaginas are filthy, so they should be washing 100% of the time.
Score: Dick 1 – Women 0
He doesn’t mean it — he’s just having a laugh. By dismissing women’s arguments out of hand, using R&E, and recycling the same thin logic over and over he increases the humor value expotentially in my opinion.
Consider these two questions and excerpts from his answers on the FA(M)Q page:
Is this site a joke?
There is nothing on this site that’s a joke — except for things that are clearly designed for your amusement. But you can spot those easily because they are hillarious.
“Dick, why did you start MenAreBetterThanWomen.com?”
A little more than a year ago, I was at a pub called the King’s Head in Richmond, England. I was drinking because I was in a pub and I’m a man. As a man I don’t do things like go to a library and try to buy a Slip and Slide. I go there to check out books just like I go to a bar to drink and have fun. Women, however, are just the opposite.
Women go to a bar to act bitchy and shoot their mouths off. That’s not what a bar is for. That’s what a hair salon and a kitchen are for. And another thing; a screwdriver isn’t for prying the screw-off lids off of nail polish removers.
One of my American friends was hassling one of these women in Richmond. By ‘hassling’ I mean ‘talking to’ and that’s always a mistake. I believe he was trying to inform her that she was in the wrong place for acting bitchy and shooting her mouth off. The phrase ‘Bitch Store’ may have been used.
I’m joking of course. Americans can’t understand anyone British or anyone who’s lived in England for more than a week. My friend was sitting there with the look of a deer caught off-sides as the lass rattled off the following:
“Sure. Long as he’s had a few pints, I could out drink any man here.”
If there’s one thing I know, it’s that women have winning and losing backwards. When they “won” equality and the right to vote, they actually just “lost” respect as a whole and a life of luxury enjoyed by every woman in the history of time. Just like that, women think “winning” a drinking contest is passing out drunk in a taxi with or without your knickers. Classy.
“Bullshit,” I said. Then before she could say anything I added, “You could not out-drink him. Both of you could not out-drink him.”
That’s the best way to argue with women. They’re not listening to you anyway, so phrase your case as well as you can as a man and then walk away.
“Oy!” she said — or something very much like it. I don’t know and I didn’t give a fuck. “Well he’s three times my size!”
“That’s not why,” I said. “No woman could out-drink any man because women don’t know how to drink. Six artificially flavoured apple martinis and a shot of Jager someone spilled half a Guinness into is not drinking. It’s experimenting on yourself to see how fast you can throw up. No one wins that contest.”
“What do you call this then?” she said.
Whatever she had and was holding was irrelevant. It was a pint of lager, but it wasn’t hers she probably just grabbed it off the table. We all know women don’t drink beer in pubs and if they do, we know what they look like: hideous. Women lie about stupid shit like that to prove points.
Needless to say, an entire conversation was sparked about the merits of men in this modern world. Apparently several women at the table were under the impression the sexes were “equal”. It was a silly assumption, but these women also thought make-up would make them more attractive when not even a paper bag, a picture of Claudia Schiffer, and a stapler could have done that.
They had “woman-reasons”, which behave in conversation like the spleen in the body — by doing fucking nothing. I was like a glorious man-cancer to these mouth spleens, and at some point the following was said.
“That’s still only four reasons! You said you’d give ten.”
“Well how much time do you have?” I said.
The rest is history.
====
Clearly Dick thinks it’s all good fun. I’ve never seen a tongue planted so firmly in a cheek for so long.
He tells you again and again — indirectly, of course — that the woman was right and he was wrong, then acts as if he didn’t say it and keeps on going. The guy is insanely funny. Like all great comedians, looking like an idiot is part of what makes him hilarious.
This guy is the reincarnation of Andy Kaufman.
I think he’s fucking hilarious exactly because I don’t think he means a word of what he writes. It’s a joke, and for my money (with the possible exception of Hillary Clinton) the funniest joke running.
WW
February 19, 2008 at 9:04 pm |
Take your point – maybe I didn’t look at the site thoroughly enough – although there are some quite genuine idiots posting who – I assume – just make his joke even funnier.
I do think that the sexes are in somewhat of a crisis though and I do think it is the ill-thought out concept of equality that is to blame.
It seems that in the west equality means that men and women should get the same things – But if equality was more about balance, it would work a helluva lot better
February 19, 2008 at 9:14 pm |
I’m amazed every time I read the site to look at dozens of comments written — mostly by women — to argue with Dick. People who are genuinely outraged. As you said, it makes the site that much funnier.
I live in Thailand where the only crisis between the sexes occurs for me about three days prior to payday when I run out of money.
Really, the only balance I need to strike is between my bank account and my sex drive.