Fake Monks in Sukhumvit

I have been reading the Stickman website again for the last couple of months.

One of the stories that Stick has made an effort to expose has been the the issue of FAKE MONKS begging money on the streets of Bangkok — specifically in the Sukhumvit area. Stickman has discussed this in two or three posts, with this week’s blog containing one of the more complete and entertaining stories below the feature article.

I have seen the fake monks a couple of times. In the past I simply walked past them, ignoring their pleas for a contribution.

I have been in Thailand for just three years and I have to say it now seems simple to identify the fake monks. I can’ t quite figure out why Thai people — who are certain to know that these are not real monks — let them brazenly walk the streets in imitation of the real holy men.

How can you know a real monk (pra in Thai language) from a fake?

There are several tip offs.

1. Real monks never BEG. They go out in the morning with a bowl and silently walk the streets. They are providing the opportunity for the faithful to earn merit by donating FOOD to them, which is placed in the bowl carried by the monk. People do not normally give cash to monks, and in Thailand, real Buddhist monks would never approach you and ask you for money.

2. In Thailand, Monks go out early in the day (usually between 6 a.m. and 9 a.m.) If you see a monk asking for money in the night time he is almost certainly an imposter.

3. Real monks are unlikely to be seeking donations on Soi Cowboy or very near other farang naughty nightlife areas. They are also not likely to approach farang directly. Keep in mind guidelines #1 and 2. If you see a monk at night, asking for cash in Soi Cowboy, he is almost certainly an imposter.

4. The robes these guys wear might look the same as real monk’s robe’s to someone who does not see them regularly. Here’s what some REAL monks look like:

Burmese Monks; burgundy robes

Thai monks — orange or saffron robes.

Note that both Thai and Burmese have the right shoulder exposed. Let’s look again at the picture of the fake monks at the top of the blog:

These guys are dressed very differently. I don’t know if these are legitimate monk’s robes or not… they may be… but at the very least this is an unusual outfit for a monk on the streets of Bangkok.

It should be obvious to any Thai person who sees them that they are dressed unusually, walking on Sukhumvit Road late at night and actually begging for cash from foreigners. The Thais must know that they are fakes but in that never-ending striving for harmony, the Thai people in the street never confront them.

Stickman’s friend, who Stick refers to as the Dirty Doctor, has been doing just that — confronting the fake monks — for several weeks now. The Dirty Doctor is the substantial looking white fellow in the small photos at the top of the blog.

Why confront the fake monks?

Well, I guess it’s just the affront that one feels seeing liars dupe people into giving them money by playing on the good feelings of charity and kindness. Foreigners who don’t know any better give cash to them believing that they are doing the right thing. It can be angering to know that these guys are getting away with it.

So, you can read back though the Stickman weekly column for several weeks to get the full story, but each time the Dirty Doctor sees these guys, he tells passers-by not to give them anything, explains that they are fakes, and if they try to flee by getting in a taxi then he gets in with them. He follows them until they will — literally — run away.

Well, I saw these guys last night before 10 pm near the Landmark Hotel. I got close to them and prevented them from begging for cash. They almost immediately hopped in a cab, the short guy in the front and the taller in the back.

I simply stood in the back door space, with the door open and my head and shoulders in the taxi, and wouldn’t move. The driver couldn’t drive anywhere without risking serious injury to me. The taller ‘monk’ in the back started pushing and pulling trying to get me to move, which I pointed out to the driver as evidence of they guy being a fake. The driver, who at first thought I was a crazy farang, eventually realized that I was telling the truth. Sitting still on Sukhumvit Road with horns blasting at him wasn’t going to pay his rent, so he finally told the ‘monks’ to get out of his car.

They hopped out and quickly skipped through the traffic to cross to the other side of Sukhumvit Road. I stayed with them, close enough to reach out and touch if I wanted. (This time I looked down as I crossed the median strip!).

On the other side of the street they went into the market stall areas moving as quickly as they could to get away from me, and they hustled into the Arab sections along Soi 5. Again, I stayed with them.

They doubled back to Sukhumvit Road. Again I stayed with them. At Sukhumvit they got confused and separated when one of them turned up the sidewalk and the other turned up the street. I stayed with the one in the street.

He hopped in a Tuk Tuk.

I smiled and waved goodbye. I figured he could pay the tuk tuk driver some of his cash.

The ‘monk’ was surprised. He actually tried to get me into the tuk tuk with him, waving me on. I shoook my head and stepped away.

He spoke to the tuk tuk driver and got out of the tuk tuk, heading into Soi 5 again.

I stayed on his heels. When we reached Soi 3, he turned to the right and continued walking quickly. The sidewalk is narrow and crowded, so it was a bit stop & start At one point he had to stand still to let some people pass and I hooked my fingers in the collar of his robe. When he tried to walk forward again he couldn’t go anywhere.

He angrily pulled away then moved out in the traffic on soi 3, dodging between cars, and actually being quite dangerous. I’m sure he was hoping I’d come to some grief trying to follow him, but one of the safest places to be in traffic is behind a guy dressed as a monk. The cars yielded to him freely, and I was never more than 12 inches away from him.

Finally he broke into a run up the street against the traffic.

This was fun, but not that much fun. I wasn’t gonna chase the fake monk in a foot race up the street. I walked up soi 3, checking taxis coming back to see if he had hopped inside of one, but I didn’t spot him again.

After just a few seconds two guys drove up next to me on a motorcycle. They were ready to chase the fake monk down and asked me in English if he had caused me some problem. I replied that he hadn’t, and explained briefly why I’d been following him. The two guys laughed and said that the fake monk looked pretty funny fleeing down the street away from giant farang. I thanked the two guys for their offer to help. They drove away and I walked to Sukhumvit MRT station to get the train home.

All up, I probably wasted 20 minutes of my time and theirs.

You might wonder why I’d bother with all of this.

I wonder myself.

Mostly it was just fun. These guys aren’t really harming anyone — just pulling off a simple scam for small money — but it bothers me that they get away with impersonating monks. It doesn’t drive a stake deep into my soul, but between the fact that these guys are doing something a bit wrong, and that hassling them has a certain ‘fun’ factor to it, I had a go. I actually enjoyed myself.

Sanuk.

Hopefully at some point it’ll just become too difficult for these guys to pull this scam and they’ll have to stop.

Hopefully they won’t change to armed robbery or selling drugs to children instead.