As briefly as I can…

The girl was the snuggler. I’ve known her for nearly a year, and she’s a good Thai girl… one who probably didn’t know that pay for play existed.

Her ideas about life and love are largely the traditional ones that Thais are raised with.

I had cultivated a relationship with her at a low level for a long long time. But it was only when I got the bad news from my favorite (former) go go dancer that she was gonna stay with E-boy that I turned up the heat with the snuggler.

After nearly a year of making my interest obvious and doing the hard groundwork, I had sex with her back in late April or early May, I guess it was. Some bright spark can check the blog to get the exact date (where’s Manny when you needd him?).

She has become an increasingly frequent visitor to my bed. Regular readers will remember that she visited me upcountry for six days at the end of May.

If you read this blog it might seem incredible, but really it’s not. The snuggler always saw me alone, and in normal environments — movies, dinner, on my way to or from work. She didn’t see me passed out in the Big Mango and she didn’t read the blog. She rather naturally took it into her head that I was a good guy.

Once we had sex, I think she was of the opinion that she was the only one. In fact, she wasn’t far wrong. I’ve said many times that I am monogomous by nature. I was haivng sex with other girls, but the snuggler has been getting the lion’s share.

And we’ve been getting closer.

Here’s how she came to snoop in my computer….

Last week something prompted me to dig out an old photo album of my childhood photos. It was in one of several cardboard boxes in my room.

I mentioned to her at the time that I had another album with more photos of my teenage years, but I didn’t know exactly where it was.

The next day, I went out for an afternoon of business meetings, leaving the snuggler alone in my room.

She called me later to say she’d done something very bad, and to beg me not to be angry. She told me that she’d looked inside my box and seen some other photo albums.

What she’d seen was one or two books that had pictures of the Thai girls I was sleeping with when I first came here on holiday. I had pics of them in various states of undress; some of them nude.

She explained htat she went looking for my second photo album… the one of me when I was a teenager.

It wasn’t just plausible, it was very likely. She had washed my laundry that day, cleaned my room, and looking for the album was a natural thing to do.

Nevertheless, she was unhappy.

I normally don’t lie… because I’m bad at it, and because I have a really bad memory and can’t keep track of lies. So I usually just tell the truth.

But I’m happy to work on the “ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies” philosophy.

The snuggler had never asked me about other women, so I had simply never told her any detiails.

Now she asked.

I told her that I had had sex with another girl last week. I talked a bit about my experience with my favorite (former) go go dancer, and what that had meant to my sex life.

She took it pretty well. But she asked if I would promise not to have sex with any other girls while I was having sex with her. I told her I wouldn’t make that promise.

She took it pretty well. I sorta expected her to disappear, but instead she kept coming back.

She slept at my place on Thursday and Friday nights. I left her alone at my place on Saturday, inadvertently giving her access to my computer.

She was feeling jealous and a little unhappy. She was filled with curiosity about exactly who I was, and she went looking for incriminating stuff on my computer.

She found it. My pal had emailed me a couple dozen photos of me and the girls in the karaoke rooms in Isaan. There I was with an absolute stunner on my lap… a photo that wasn’t a week old yet. Pictures of me dancing with the same girls.

She also fuond an SMS written in Thai that I had drafted to the same girl, saying how beautiful and charming she was, and saying that I’d love to see her again on my next trip East. It hinted that if she was interested I might invite her to come to Bangkok to see me.

There was more, but those were the most incrimitating items, especially since they were very fresh.

This time there was no confession about her wrongdoing. Instead she decided on her own that she needed to stop seeing me. I had already had the “Oops!” moment on my way to work, and realized that I’d probably left the fox guarding the henhouse, so checked my computer while she was gone.

To be truthful, what I was most worried about was that she would have read this blog. That’s why I checked the histroy. But she hadn’t found it.

So… she knew what I’d been up to. I knew that she knew. I guess she figured out that I knew that she knew.

Last night (Sunday) I called her and told her to come to my place. We had a fairly frank discussion where all the cards were put on the table.

I told her that I enjoy her company and her sex, but that I wasn’t ready to get married/settle down to one girl. I told her that I would continue asking out any girl that I found interesting, and that I would have sex with some of htem.

I told her that I didin’t expect her to go looking in my sock drawers or reading my email, checking my phone messages or any other insecure and clingy behaviour in the future.

I told her that if she didn’t want to share my affections that she should decide not to see me any more.

But I made it clear that another episode of digging through my private stuff would be met with a much harsher response from me.

I’m butterflying on you.

So, I said, you can choose. You can still see me, but stay out of my personal shit.

Or, if you don’t want to see me any more, or if you can’t stay out of my personal stuff, then we can stop right here.

Her answer was pretty unambiguos. She started kissing me and then had sex with me before she went home.

So, the snuggler is still in play and she knows exactly what the state of play is. I’ve added some password features to my mobile phone, and I’m trying to be more diligent about logging off my computer when I’m not using it.

In the circumstances I understood her behaviour. It was driven by jealousy, uncertainty, fear, anger and curiosity. There was a lot of negative emotion that made her feel hurt.

I don’t think she should have gone through my computer files but I think that the action was predictable, understandable and — for me at least — forgivable.

But not repeatable.

Hope that answers any questions.

WHere’s gavinmac by the way? I need some more intrusive questioning about the details of my life and decision making. I noticed that in my absence he was giving the treatment to somone on another blog site this week.